1. Prevalence of the problem
It is no secret to anyone that watching porn is extremely common nowadays. Results from one Australian study involving 9,963 men and 10,131 women (16-29 years old) showed that 84% of those men and 54% of these women had watched porn at least once in their lives [ref. 1]. The research also found out that 76% of the men and 41% of the women had watched porn regularly in the past year. It seems that this is a normalized activity these days, and its categorization as problematic is avoided. The majority of porn addicts think this is absolutely harmless and do not realize its negative effects. However, it turns out that the obsession with porn watching can have a serious negative impact on intimate relationships, mental health and social life.
2. Effect on intimate relationships
Regular porn watching can seem harmless, and even useful for sex education. People watch porn for various reasons, most often due to the lack of an intimate partner by their side. Others resort to watching porn as an escape from issues in their ongoing intimate relationship. Regardless of what the reason is, experts agree that being addicted to porn harms relationships by violating their sexual and emotional integrity [ref. 2].
In long-term relationships, this can lead to psychosexual dissatisfaction, reduced emotional connection and alienation from your intimate partner [ref. 3]. Research shows that regular porn watching leads to more frequent relationship conflicts [ref. 4] and increases the likelihood of infidelity [ref. 5]. American scientific studies have shown that porn watching addicts have high chance of splitting up with their partner sooner [ref. 6].
2.1. What underlies these negative statistics?
Regular porn watching negatively affects both the addict and their partner. Both physical and mental symptoms are observed, overall leading to sexual dissatisfaction in both partners. For example, decreased sexual drive and erectile problems are part of the physical negative consequences [ref. 7].
Another leading problem, especially among young people, is the unrealistic notion of sex that the industry imposes. One study aimed to determine the impact of porn on the values, relationships, beliefs and behaviours of adolescents [ref. 8]. The results of the scientific study showed that 53% of the boys and 39% of girls watching porn believe that it gives a realistic representation of sex. In fact, porn is an industry in which attractive women and men are chosen to play their best possible roles [ref. 9]. It offers a constant novelty that is just a click away from the bored of the previous content user. This represents a drastic difference from real life where our intimate partner is not always in their most brilliant form.
Another important problem in porn movies is the promotion of violence against women, who nevertheless always agree with a man's sexual desire, no matter how aggressive it could be [Ref. 10].
2.2. Influence on the partner of the addict
The addiction of one of the partners in a relationship has a direct impact on the other person. The addicted person may be trying to impose behaviors that their partner disapproves or make them feel insecure about their own sexual skills.
The partner of the porn addict may perceive watching porn as a betrayal, especially when their partner is hiding or lying about it. Interestingly, research shows that only 4% of women report that their partners watch porn regularly, while in fact 50% of their partners do this [ref. 11].
This influences negatively the partner of the porn addict, as it lowers their self-esteem, makes them feel insecure about the other person. In some cases, this emotional trauma can lead to anxiety and even depression [ref. 12]. Reddit is a public online paltform for anonymous discussion on various topics where many people share similar examples from their personal lives [ref. 13].
3. Erectile dysfunction (impotence)
Photo by Christian Erfurt on Unsplash
Porn addiciton leads to increased dopamine levels (Delta-FosB) in the brain, leading to sensitization and a feeling of insatiability [ref. 14]. A scientific study was conducted at the University of Cambridge in 2014 and results showed strong activation of the same brain regions in porn abusers as the ones found in smokers, alcoholics and drug addicts. Structural changes occur in the brain of porn addicts. An Italian scientific study involving 28,000 Italians revealed that porn addiction leads to decreased libido and can even lead to impotence in men [ref. 15].
Gary Wilson receives an award for distinguished media contribution and his teaching on porn addiciton. The expert has a website "http://yourbrainonporn.com" in which he informs about the harm of porn addiction and helps addicts overcome this problem. The website contains an overview of over one hundred scientific studies confirming the sexual dysfunction caused by porn addiction [ref. 16]. Gary Wilson is also famous for his TedTalk on the subject.
4. Effect on mental health
Abuse with porn watching creates a sense of insatiability. For instance, everyday activities that used to bring pleasure to the addict before, already seem boring to him. Porn addiction is also associated with an increased chance of drug addiction, smoking and alcoholism [ref. 17].
Increased brain activity in certain brain regions- the prefrontal cortex and amygdala is observed in porn addicts. This obsession can also lead to an anxiety disorder. In addition, it causes dysfunctional stress response by affecting the hypothalamus-pituitary gland-adrenal gland stress system [ref. 18].
The neurophysiological changes caused by porn addictin interfere with normal brain function and everyday life. For example, this leads to impulsivity, difficulties in decision-making and emotional instability. It also weakens a person's normal cognitive function as it affects their working memory and slows down the process of acquiring new information. These negative effects strongly resemble the changes that occur in addictions such as gambling and drugs.
5. Can porn addiction affect our sexual orientation?
Initially, watching porn sensitizes a person's brain, causing them to feel satisfaction similar to receiving a financial reward [ref. 19]. However, gradually, after repeated watching of a certain type of porn the brain desensitizes (gains tolerance). This prompts to experimenting with watching a new porn genre.
20.7% of men who identified themselves as heterosexual reported watching homosexual porn on a regular basis and vice versa, 55% of homosexual men reported watching heterosexual porn [ref. 20]. The desensitization in the brain caused by getting used to a certain porn genre can lead to an insinuation of a new sexual orientation. The reason for this is because it tricks a person's brain to think that they are sexually aroused only by the new kind of porn [ref. 21].
6. Aid resources
The obsession with porn is extremely common, but fortunately all of the mentioned negative effects associated with it are reversible by reducing the frequency of watching or fully quitting porn [ref. 22].
In some more severe cases, however, the intervention of a specialist is needed to help the addict overcome their obsession. The realization that the addict cannot cope with their problem alone and their desire to get help from a specialist in the field are far from shameful. This step could be actually described as bold and commendable. Overall, addictions, whatever they might be, are unhealthy and complicate a person's normal lifestyle, and self-combating them is often overwhelming for the addict.
In the aforementioned Ted Talk, Gary Wilson shares the personal stories of several of his clients who have successfully given up their addiction. The main motive for this was the caused erectile dysfunction, which had significantly affected their intimate relationships [ref. 23].
Another aid resource are the experts Mark and Steve who are previous porn watching addicts and help addicts to overcome their obsession. The two experts have a podcast called "Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts - PBSE", which extensively comments on the topic of porn addiction, the reason for it, what effect it has on the addict, as well as on his partner [ref. 24]. Their work is remarkably commendable in its profoundness, precision, and appropriateness, also for serving as a vital representation of the addicts' partners in this extremely challenging struggle.
Another interesting resource which offers valuable insight and guidnce is the website Mr Mind Blowing.
